I made my first TEC, Belleville TEC 240, in 2006 as a junior in high school. I had signed up in hopes of meeting new people and finding who I was. It was exciting to get away from the people I went to high school with and be myself. Well, that didn't go like I had hoped. Most of the TECites were people I had gone to high school with and it was hard to be myself. Between that and getting hurt in the first 2 hours, my first TEC wasn't that great. But I was feeling the tug to stay involved.
A year later, I was going to be on team as a resource, a table leader of sorts, on Belleville TEC 243. Again, a ton of people from my high school were on the weekend, but I was more confident in who I was. There was a moment during this retreat where I vocalized for the first time that I felt called to religious life. No one knew how to respond and how to help me with my journey. Saying it aloud did help quiet the voice I was hearing. I graduated from high school and soon started college. My focus became finishing college.
The fall of 2007, I had the privilege to be part of Harvest 24 and WT 245. Harvest 24 wasn't what I was expecting. I felt ignored and forgotten most of that weekend. It was probably the start of me removing myself from the TEC community. I was also on WT 245 and had an awesome experience serving others. I fell in love with serving and wanted to be part of more Wheat Tesms!!
The next TEC I did was 248. I had originally signed up to be on WT, but somehow, it was already full 9 months before the weekend. This made me want to not be involved in TEC. I was a resource again and had an amazing table! We were often told to settle down, but I think they each had their moment where they encountered Christ. I was also the "bad guy" on the weekend for cell phone use. Many people were not fully invested in the weekend because they spent free time texting friends. This was another reason why I took a step back from TEC.
248 was my last TEC for many years and reasons. I started an intense college program where I had classes almost every Saturday for 2 years. Also, I needed to take that step back. There were things I needed to explore. I had a very sheltered life and I needed to be who I thought I was.
Since ending my involvement with TEC, I also kind of ended my church life. I was "too busy" "didn't feel well" "needing time by myself" I let church fall to the back burner. You could even say I let fall off the stove all together and having it end up behind it in no mans land!
From 2009-2013, I did a lot of exploring. In the fall of 2012, I decided I had time to devote to TEC again. I was going to be on adult team for TEC 253 in January, 2014. I felt like an outsider during all of team formation, during the weekend, and even after. I have come to realize that I was. A number of people on the weekend didn't like me. They probably didn't want me on the weekend. I have strong opinions about how a TEC should be, and many didn't want to hear these opinions. Also, most of the team had known each other way before the weekend and I was the odd outsider. I have come to know that I wasn't the only one who felt like that on that weekend.
TEC 253 brought God back onto my "stove". I had the opportunity to serve on TEC Board a few months later. I took a more active part in the planning process. I felt like I belonged to a group again. It was a pretty awesome feeling.
At our Diocesen Youth Conference, I was able to sit at the TEC table and talk to the youth about TEC. Across from our table were the Adorers of the Blood of Christ. A former teacher of mine was at the table so I walked over to say hi. I came back to the TEC table with a stack of pamphlets and a seed planted that I should become a sister. This seed was watered by many people that I talked to that day. I laughed it off and tried not to think about it.
The next retreat I did was Harvest 26 in June 2014. This is where everything changed! So much changed after this weekend! This retreat is where I think I officially started my discernment. You can read more details in my first blog post about how HUGE this weekend was!!
Last weekend, I took on my first directing role on a TEC. I was directing WT 255. I LOVE WT and serving others. This was a super stressful weekend! I had my team formed, then lost half my team and gained a 4th member at the last minute. We were small, but mighty! I cried in front of people for the first time on a weekend!
It is because of this weekend that I realize I need to take a step back from TEC and explore my vocation call more seriously. I get a little teary eyed thinking it may be a few years before I'm on TEC again and I may not be able to finish my term on board. I will do everything in my power to stay active and attend events!
TEC has formed me. It has helped me find out who I am, where I belong, and who I want to be. Without TEC, I would still be a lost sheep who doesn't realize how lost I am. To my friends I have made because of TEC, thank you! Without you, I wouldn't be where I am! You have encouraged me and said all the right things at the right time!
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