Listening to God's Call- The Start of My Discernment

The first time I can remember thinking of becoming a sister and vocalized it was on a TEC retreat. I know the location of the weekend, where I was sitting when I said it, and how I reacted when someone suggested I talk to someone about it (I shrugged and did a little research after the weekend and left it there). I was still in high school and had ZERO interest in not following along with the "social norms". 

In between then and now, I had a few signs from God that I should explore and discern more, but I ignored them. It wasn't what I WANTED to do. 

This past March (2014), I was volunteering at the TEC table at DYC and across from us was the Adorers of the Precious Blood and Sister Marcia, my high school Spanish teacher. I went over and said "hi" and left with a stack of pamphlets and was told, "you should join us." I went back to my table and made a big joke of it. The youth minister of diocese came over and talked to us for awhile. A guy I had NEVER met and he too told me I would make a great sister. Two people in one day, but I didn't want to listen to God. Again, it wasn't what I WANTED.

Fast forward to June 26, 2014. It was the day before the Harvest retreat I was to be on team for and there was a Theology on Tap hosted by the Poor Handmaids of Jesus Christ. I didn't know who, if anyone, was going. I went and was 1 of 3 people attending besides the panel. The topic of discussing "Answering God's Call"

Everything just seemed to click. I realized what God was trying to tell me!!! I went home, my heart on fire, and worked my big revelation into my talk entitled "Mary, the True Servant of God" (another sign I now see that God was calling me to start discerning religious life). 

Friday came and the retreat started in the evening. My talk wasn't until Sunday and I was determined not to tell ANYONE until then. I slept a total of 1.5 hours Friday night...that's when I realized I needed to tell someone.

The perfect time showed itself with the perfect person. The vocation director was on the weekend and an activity we did after a talk was to break into pairs and share our faith journey...it was more of him guiding me in my next steps, but it's what I needed. We had an hour break and I was able to quiet my mind enough for a quick nap.

I ended up telling 1 more person on Saturday. He is a dear friend who I have known since high school. We were sitting together and I was still stressed about telling people that I was starting discernment (but he, like others, thought I was just stressed about giving my talk the next morning). I made him promise not to tell anyone and his reaction was what I needed. He told me that he could see me becoming a nun. I was able to relax and quiet my mind enough to get 3 whole hours of sleep!!!

Sunday came and I was up for 5 hours before I was to give my talk...my talk started at 9:30am...Anyway, I gave my talk, got to the part of doing God's will, paused, asked God to give me the courage to say it, and said it. Not one person told me I was crazy or it was a bad idea (something that was said to me back in March when I got those pamphlets)

The retreat ended, I'm back home, and I can feel the peace and happiness still. I pray every morning. I have been reading the mass readings and I started a novena to Mary, the Undoer of Knots. I still haven't told family. I have told a few other people (2) outside the weekend. Tomorrow I will call a person that was suggested to me to be a spiritual director.

This is just the beginning of my journey. I can't wait to see where God leads me!