My Journey With the Sacrament of Reconciliation

I think we all have a Love-Hate relationship with the Sacrament of Reconciliation. At least I do. I'm a work in progress and this is a bit of my journey.

When I was in grade school I had a terrible experience during the Sacrament that made me SUPER uncomfortable being alone with a priest let alone telling him all my sins.

In high school, I often found myself having a personal pep talk to receive the sacrament. This pep talk has been known to last over an hour and I completely miss my chance.

In college, I convinced myself that I didn't need a priest to tell me God forgives me, I can simply ask God directly for forgiveness. Yes, I was one of "those" people. Soon, I found myself going nearly 8 years without receiving Reconciliation.

I slowly was falling away. I was a "Chreaster", attending mass just for Christmas and Easter.

Then the amazing events of 2014 happened. On Harvest 26, the priest talked about how excited we should be to receive the sacrament and celebrate after we receive God's Mercy! 

Now, I was ready and I NEEDED to go. I was REALLY nervous. I gave myself a good pep talk and got in line. I would only go to the priest that I knew, and, of course, his line was the longest and I was the last one in line. I waited and didn't let my mind talk my heart out of going. When it was my turn, the priest was getting up to leave and I motioned that I still needed to go. You see, there were 2 other priests there and both were done. I made my confession and I felt SOOO much better! It felt like I was walking on sunshine!

Fast forward to the season of Advent. I was feeling a pull in my heart to have Reconciliation again. I made plans to go to a service with my parish partnership. I had a friend who was going to go with me and my mom. Both backed out. A panic attack soon followed. I almost turned my car around so many times. I had to give myself many pep talks that night. One was just to get out of my car. Another was to walk to the church. There  was the normal one to get in line. Again, the line I chose was the longest. I then I had the pep talk to stay in line. I didn't get the same "walking on sunshine" feeling.

Last weekend, one of my favorite priests was hearing confessions during the retreat I was one. I may have done a happy dance when I found out. My pep talk was almost non-existant and I had that really happy feeling again. The only anxiety I had consisted of being worried about one of my Questers.

I'm still working through the anxiety I feel before receiving Reconciliation. I know that I can't let myself worry about it too much. Also, there are certain priests that I feel comfortable confessing to, and when I know they will be my confessor, there is little to no anxiety. I know I won't always be able to seek them out to hear my confession. 

I'm working on reclaiming Reconciliation as a happy sacrament. One that doesn't lead to a panic attack. One that doesn't require a pep talk to attend. One that realigns me with God. 

Celebrating National Catholic Sisters Week!

What better way to celebrate National Catholic Sisters Week than by starting the application process with the Adorers of the Blood of Christ!

That's right! I'm an applicant!!! Awwww!!!!

That's all! Please keep me in your prayers as I venture through this next step in my journey!

7 Quick Takes: Life Update!

I have a lot going on right now, so I figure this is the best way to update you all on my life!

1. This weekend I will serving on the adult team for a Quest retreat. This retreat is for Freshmen and Sophomores in high school. It focuses on the 3 circles of love...Love of Jesus, Love of Others, and Love of Yourself. When you balance these you find JOY! (Did you get it???) I will be giving a talk about prayer and I'm super excited to share how I pray and help the Questers see how many ways there are to pray! If you can, please keep us in your prayers this weekend! The team assembles Friday night and the Questers come Saturday morning. The retreat lasts until Sunday evening. Thanks in advance!

2. I'm officially discerning with the Adorers of the Blood of Christ! The vocation director will be in town next week and we will be getting together a couple of times to talk! I'm really excited! I have been "assigned" a bunch of "homework" to do. I have to read the spirituality section of my discernment journal. I'm also starting to plan a trip to Wichita to visit the sisters there!

3. If you read my blog, then you know I had a pretty bad week last week...this week has been a bit better. I'm now taking the approach that I'm going to do the best I can and offer my frustrations up. The serenity prayer comes to mind...

I am accepting I cannot change how she acts towards me, so I'm asking God to help me accept it!

4. 

I bought 2 packages of these delicious gifts from Australia last week...I'm pretty impressed I still have 1.5 packages still left! On the other hand, I received a box of Girl Scout cookies and I ate about half of them yesterday while I was waiting for my car to warm up...I was hungry and may have been eating my feelings...

5. I celebrated my "baptism birthday" on the 4th. 26 years I have now been a baptized member of the Catholic Church! The crazy "coincident" is that March 4th is also foundation day for the Adorers. I feel like it's a sign that I am on the right path right now!

6. We are winding down the winter weather for the season. This makes me a bit sad, mostly because I did not get a snow day. I am ready for the weather to be warm enough to take the kids outside without freezing. Between the full moon this week and being stuck inside, the kids were (literally) bouncing off the walls today.

7. The 8th grade boys like to play mass at recess. Yes, you read that correctly. They do their "mass" followed by a "circle time" to discuss how they can improve. The young man who was the "bishop" promoted himself to pope. They also have a priest, deacon, and a server. One boy is the cantor and they sing songs and the Responsorial Psalm. I even caught a bit of the homily. One told me that he is kind of interested in being a priest or deacon. Can't wait to see what comes of this class!

Check out more 7QT at This Ain't the Lyceum!

Pray for Me!

The Saints I'm asking to intercede for me week:

St. Jude (Desperate Causes)

St. Raymond Nonnatus

(Falsely Accused)

St. Ignatius of Loyola (Retreats)

St. Joseph (Workers)

St. Martin de Porres (Race Relations)

St. Vincent Ferrer (Reconciliation)

Super-Horrible-No-Good-Very-Bad Week!

I've had a super-horrible-no-good-very-bad week! 

I missed mass on Tuesday night. I (unexpectedly) had to work until 6pm and then developed a bad stress headache.

On Wednesday, I had a big fight with my "co-worker". "Co-worker" is in quotes because she doesn't always show up and when she does, she doesn't work. The fight on Wednesday was over the fact that I have developed rules and a routine that she doesn't like. I stood my ground and she decided she won't talk to me. This REALLY upset me. I couldn't believe her attitude towards me. 

Thursday, I talked with my principal about it. I told her how it wasn't just last night, but everything else that has been going on this school year. I also found out that my "co-worker"wanted to have a meeting with the principal. This really upset me. I felt like she didn't have the right to be mad because I have bent over backwards and missed events I wanted to go to so she can leave when she wants and not show up whenever she likes.

Friday, she was on the hall waiting to talk with the principal and she refused to even look at me as I walked by. Then, when we worked together, she walked out at 3:45 and didn't come back until 4:30. REALLY??? I had the kids cleanup what  they were playing with, got them snack, cleaned up snack, and had snack put away in that time. 

But, everything is going to be OKAY!!!

I found these at World Market:

They are an Australian cookie that is soooo good! It was the best way to end a bad week!

But, this week has taught me something! Working with people isn't always sunshine and roses. When/if I live in community, it's not always going to be sunshine and roses. I need to not hold in all my frustrations. In the same way, I shouldn't complain about everything. I need to find a happy middle and know when I need to seek help and mediation. I pray that I continue to learn and grow with the situations that God puts me in!