"Facebook Official"

When a couple begins dating, gets engaged, or gets married, people say it's not official until it's "Facebook official". Well, I have made a BIG step and made it "Facebook official" that I'm discerning religious life.

I was waiting to make an announcement on Facebook until I told all the people in my life that I wanted to tell personally. I told my sisters a couple of weekends ago, my parents have known, my brother found out on his first TEC over Labor Day weekend. I had just one close friend who I wasn't sure would be excited for me to still tell. I finally told her...I told her she could either be supportive or we didn't have to still be friends...she is trying to be supportive.

It feels good to not have this secret anymore!! It feels even better to have my friends and family praying for me!

In other news, the Nun Run is this coming Saturday!!! I'm SUPER excited and will update you all on how it goes!!!

NAS: All About Make-up!

This week's Not Alone Series is about our make-up routines! Check out Jen's  and Morgan's Blogs for more NAS opinions!

What are your thoughts on wearing make up? Do you see a tension between a pressure from society and a God-given desire to be and make life beautiful? Is your use of make up compatible with the idea that God sees you as naturally beautiful?  

Oh, make-up! 

In high school, I never did get into wearing make-up. I liked my sleep in the morning and already had to get up early to drive about 20 minutes to school. I also felt like I would rub it off while in class anyway so what was the point!

In college, I tried to wear it more, but I didn't like it. I would wear minimal make-up, foundation and lip gloss with a bit of eyeshadow. This wasn't an every day thing.

When observing and student teaching, I tried to wear it. I did this because PEOPLE TOLD ME I NEEDED IT!! I didn't wear it because I wanted to, but others told me I needed it.

Now, I don't wear any make-up. I have the occasional pimple and my skin isn't perfect. Many people still tell me I need make-up, but I don't think so. I like my complexion! It's not perfect, but it's me.

Wearing make-up is perfectly okay! But the reasons WHY you wear make-up is important. I wore it because others told me I needed it. (I still wear it occasionally for special events) It hurt my self esteem because others told me I wasn't pretty without make-up. Now, my self-esteem is high because I have taken control of my life and I no longer let other's opinions influence me.

If YOU want to wear make-up, do it!! Don't let others tell you need it and make you feel ugly if you choose not to!! 

Be sure to check out Morgan's blog for the other linkups!

7 Quick Takes: Volume 2

Linking up again with ConversionDiary for 7 Quick Takes. Visit ConversionDiary for more!

Here are 7QT about how much I love my job!! No, really, I love my job and all the things I do (even making copies).

1. It has become common knowledge with most people I interact with daily that I'm discerning. I LOVE it! It's a wonderful feeling knowing that so many people are praying for you as you begin your journey. The students I work with are the best! They make me feel like this is the right thing to do!

2. I LOVE my job!!! I always say that when I start a new job and that feeling quickly disappears after a few weeks. Well, it hasn't yet! I think this is where I'm suppose to be. And it really helps that the students and other teachers are super supportive of my discerning!

3. I want to do a lesson about vocations to religious life with the students I work with. Maybe not right now, but I want to share with them the process that I am going through in hopes that they understand what it takes and that they may consider a vocation to religious life. Knowledge is power! I didn't realize what it took until I started seriously discerning!

4. I have taken to praying the rosary daily as I drive to work. October is the month dedicated to the rosary. I also would love to do something with the students to share the love I have for praying the rosary.

5. At my job, I do a little bit of everything. I am the lunch and recess monitor, I make copies, read to kindergarten, help 1st grade with letters and numbers, work with 2nd, 3rd and 4th grade with a little bit of everything, get called as the sub, work after-school, and anything else that needs to be done! I LOVE it!!! Why??? Because I am in a school every day and I feel like I belong!!! I'm learning names and getting a routine down!!

6. Have I mentioned that I LOVE my job??? Well another awesome thing is that it's a Catholic school. I can share my faith without worry of offending someone and losing my job. I can wear my crosses to work. It's okay that I talk about Jesus and how much he loves us. Heck, it's encouraged that we pray!! I think we are going to start praying before snack at after-school!

7. I was going to write about missing subbing, then I realized I don't! I might not be the teacher in front of the class, but I get to work one-on-one with students who need extra help, I get work with almost all the students, and my schedule is flexible enough that I get to sub for teachers. So I might not be subbing all the time, but I feel like I'm making a difference! Something I didn't feel when subbing full-time!

NAS: Online Dating

In my prusuit of blogs, I came across This Blog, written by Jen, and started reading a "not alone series". They link up with a different topic each week. This week is about online dating.

Not all of us have jumped into the world of online dating, but many of us have! What are those things that we should AND shouldn't do?! If someone you know is considering online dating, how would you encourage him/her? What advice do you have?

Now, I bet you are wondering what does she know about online dating, she's discerning a vocation to religious life. Well, this discerning thing is new...like only serious in the last 3 months. I have been on MANY sites, on and off, since about 2010.

Here is my advice:

1. Try before you pay money! Some sites will let you "try" it out. Catholic Singles didn't make me pay at all because I was still in college. Don't pay when you sign up. Look around and see of the people you are finding seem to have your same morals.

2. Don't join sites such as Zoosk. People on these such sites likely won't have your morals and you will be disappointed. I met a guy on Zoosk and went on a few dates with him. I did some things (never went all the way) that I wish I hadn't. I went on vacation and when I came back, I had a renewed look on my virginity. I told him that I wanted to wait. He ended up getting drunk and hooking up with someone else. So, be careful of the site you pick.

3. Find a site that is focused on your beliefs. They have a site for EVERY way of life now! Farmers only is one I see advertised A LOT!!! Catholic Singles is one that I used and met many guys on, but I did still find some creepy guys, so always be careful.

4. Be careful when meeting!! Meet somewhere public, tell someone where you are going, maybe even bring a friend to hang out in the background in case something goes bad. In this world, you can't be too safe!

5. Watch giving out your number, email, and other contact. I met a guy earlier this year who's profile said he lived close. Well, he had moved (to a different state) and didn't change his profile. We texted back and forth and then he started acting weird. I told him I was no longer interested and to stop texting me. He melted down on me and REALLY freaked me out. I blocked his number.

Exploring the internet is amazing! That is what I'm doing now in my discernment! You just need to be careful and use common sense! Now head over to Morgan's and check out other's view!

Shhhh!!!! A Post on Quiet.

I don't like quiet. 

As a teacher, I have a high noise tolerance. When I was subbing, principals often stopped when walking by my classes. I loved the noise!!!

At home, I would sleep with the TV on. I would find it difficult to sleep if I didn't have noise and would often sleep with earbuds in if I was away from home.

On a retreat, the priest pointed out my first and last initials are SH...shhhhhhh...ironic because I'm not a quiet person..

Why did I like noise??? Because it didn't give me a chance to hear God's voice!! I didn't like what he was saying. I (subconsciously) was drowning out His voice like a little child who puts his fingeres in his ears saying "I can't hear you!"

I still find it difficult to sit in quiet. However, my "noise" is different. When it's quiet, I'm talking to God in my head. I'm thanking Him for all He had done, asking for His help, and praising His greatness! So it may be quiet outside, but it's pretty loud in my head.

I am challenging myself this week to sit in silence without the outside noise. Will you do it with me?

7 Quick Takes

I have read many "7 Quick Takes" and decided to take part for the first time this week! Enjoy!

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1. I have been telling more people that I am discerning. I think the reason why I wasn't wanting to tell people was because I needed to get use to it first. I haven't had anyone react negatively when I tell them. Most are curious because it's different.

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2. The "Nun Run" is getting closer and I'm getting excited! We will be visiting 3 different communities that day. The Poor Clares, The School Sisters of Notre Dame, and The Daughters of St. Paul. Another I person I know from TEC will be going as well that day. I don't know if she is discerning or not. Last I heard, she had a pretty serious boyfriend.

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3. The students I work with are wonderful! I love the time I spend with 1st grade every day! It's the most I spend in a classroom and I'm getting to know those students. We have been working on letter sounds to get them ready to start reading. I have come up with silly things for them to remember the "tough" sounds.

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4. The junior high students know I'm discerning. They ask me EVERY DAY if I still want to be nun. I hope to maybe do some sort of presentation about vocations. I would love for them to know what it takes and have them be part of my discernment process!

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5. I was talking to a priest after a meeting and he wants to introduce me to some sisters he knows. They will be in town for an event and he wants me to attend with him.  This will happen the day before the "nun run". I'll fill in more when I know more details.

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6. The meeting I mentioned is about "parish partnership". Our "partnership" was given the task to go from 3 parishes with 3 priests to 2 parishes with 1 priest. We have to come up with a plan on how to do this. At the end of the meeting, the priest I mentioned above and I were talking. He asked my opinion on the process. I told him we need more open minded people who aren't afraid of change to make this plan. The parish secretary was there and said good luck with that. I must agree, the people in the committee aren't open to change...let me rephrase, they aren't open to change that would inconvience them. They are all for priest getting married and women priests... This may get it's own blog...

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7. The "lacking a certain body part" comment that was made to me by another priest at that same meeting still upsets me. I'm going to ask some of my priest friends what they think I should do.

That's all for today! I hope you check out the rest of my blog while you are here!

Teens Encounter Christ

I have made a few mentions of an amazing retreat program called Teens Encounter Christ, or TEC. TEC has been a HUGE part of my discernment, even before I realized it. I'm going to start from the beginning, so bare with me!

I made my first TEC, Belleville TEC 240, in 2006 as a junior in high school. I had signed up in hopes of meeting new people and finding who I was. It was exciting to get away from the people I went to high school with and be myself. Well, that didn't go like I had hoped. Most of the TECites were people I had gone to high school with and it was hard to be myself. Between that and getting hurt in the first 2 hours, my first TEC wasn't that great. But I was feeling the tug to stay involved.

A year later, I was going to be on team as a resource, a table leader of sorts, on Belleville TEC 243. Again, a ton of people from my high school were on the weekend, but I was more confident in who I was. There was a moment during this retreat where I vocalized for the first time that I felt called to religious life. No one knew how to respond and how to help me with my journey. Saying it aloud did help quiet the voice I was hearing. I graduated from high school and soon started college. My focus became finishing college.

The fall of 2007, I had the privilege to be part of Harvest 24 and WT 245. Harvest 24 wasn't what I was expecting. I felt ignored and forgotten most of that weekend. It was probably the start of me removing myself from the TEC community. I was also on WT 245 and had an awesome experience serving others. I fell in love with serving and wanted to be part of more Wheat Tesms!!

The next TEC I did was 248. I had originally signed up to be on WT, but somehow, it was already full 9 months before the weekend. This made me want to not be involved in TEC. I was a resource again and had an amazing table! We were often told to settle down, but I think they each had their moment where they encountered Christ. I was also the "bad guy" on the weekend for cell phone use. Many people were not fully invested in the weekend because they spent free time texting friends. This was another reason why I took a step back from TEC.

248 was my last TEC for many years and reasons. I started an intense college program where I had classes almost every Saturday for 2 years. Also, I needed to take that step back. There were things I needed to explore. I had a very sheltered life and I needed to be who I thought I was. 

Since ending my involvement with TEC, I also kind of ended my church life. I was "too busy" "didn't feel well" "needing time by myself" I let church fall to the back burner. You could even say I let fall off the stove all together and having it end up behind it in no mans land!

From 2009-2013, I did a lot of exploring. In the fall of 2012, I decided I had time to devote to TEC again. I was going to be on adult team for TEC 253 in January, 2014. I felt like an outsider during all of team formation, during the weekend, and even after. I have come to realize that I was. A number of people on the weekend didn't like me. They probably didn't want me on the weekend. I have strong opinions about how a TEC should be, and many didn't want to hear these opinions. Also, most of the team had known each other way before the weekend and I was the odd outsider. I have come to know that I wasn't the only one who felt like that on that weekend.

TEC 253 brought God back onto my "stove". I had the opportunity to serve on TEC Board a few months later. I took a more active part in the planning process. I felt like I belonged to a group again. It was a pretty awesome feeling. 

At our Diocesen Youth Conference, I was able to sit at the TEC table and talk to the youth about TEC. Across from our table were the Adorers of the Blood of Christ. A former teacher of mine was at the table so I walked over to say hi. I came back to the TEC table with a stack of pamphlets and a seed planted that I should become a sister. This seed was watered by many people that I talked to that day. I laughed it off and tried not to think about it.

The next retreat I did was Harvest 26 in June 2014. This is where everything changed! So much changed after this weekend! This retreat is where I think I officially started my discernment. You can read more details in my first blog post about how HUGE this weekend was!!

Last weekend, I took on my first directing role on a TEC. I was directing WT 255. I LOVE WT and serving others. This was a super stressful weekend! I had my team formed, then lost half my team and gained a 4th member at the last minute. We were small, but mighty! I cried in front of people for the first time on a weekend!

It is because of this weekend that I realize I need to take a step back from TEC and explore my vocation call more seriously. I get a little teary eyed thinking it may be a few years before I'm on TEC again and I may not be able to finish my term on board. I will do everything in my power to stay active and attend events!

TEC has formed me. It has helped me find out who I am, where I belong, and who I want to be. Without TEC, I would still be a lost sheep who doesn't realize how lost I am. To my friends I have made because of TEC, thank you! Without you, I wouldn't be where I am! You have encouraged me and said all the right things at the right time!

Nun Run and TEC

I was contacted by the vocation director to do a "nun run". 

When I first read "nun run" I was thinking of an actual run of some sort...I don't run, but I am working on becoming healthier. The vision I had was nuns in full habits running a 5k. I was thinking "why would I want to participate in an event with running nuns??"

Then I read the rest of the message...

The "nun run" is going to be a road trip of sorts to visit various religious orders in our diocese and surrounding area. Doesn't that sound like fun?? I think it does!! He told me that it would probably be on October 4th so I will fill you all in on how it went!!

On another note, I was on team for a TEC this past weekend. It was a bittersweet moment because it will probably be my last TEC for awhile as I begin to get further into my journey. It was an AMAZING weekend to be my last for awhile!!! Christ is truly alive in the 15 TECites, 16 team, and 4 wheat team!!! So, thank you Belleville TEC 255 for an amazing experience!!!